Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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