Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Operation Purity has been aborted
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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