Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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