In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize