I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
