i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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