i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize