speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
someone owes me an orgasm
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize