wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
