So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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