we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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