Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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