You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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