No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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