She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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