babies were throwing up all over the place
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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