i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize