look no pants
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
