I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
