About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
