I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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