You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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