9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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