Hey man sorry I got all grabby
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
