I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize