Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
