singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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