I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
