we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I think my moral compass just broke
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize