If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize