dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize