dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
