I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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