Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
