ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
