Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
