there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
