I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
How drunk are you?
Completed.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
