I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
not ubering you a puppy
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
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