I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
