Your tits are I can't wait for
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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