So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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