Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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