I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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