I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Boobs speak an international language.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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