what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
