Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
