R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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