Me too!
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
