first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
