Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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