I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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