using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
