if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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