He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
accomplished twins. life is a go
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
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