butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
