I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
my liver is dry heaving
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
