I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize