I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
