I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I love you.
Bad choice
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
