you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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