I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize