We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
