well most of my day revolves around power hour
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
