i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
