I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
