But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Randomize
